Fix My Truck

"'Routine surgery' is the surgery done on someone else."

Bill R.

 

Baltimore, 2021:

It was a brilliant white building with at least seven bay doors, at twelve stories high with a huge neon sign on the roof which proudly proclaimed, "Auto Analysis and Restoration".

He pulled in to the open bay door "Service".  A smallish, middle-aged man, white shirt, power tie, and a clipboard met them.  He stepped out, as the service writer approached,

"Good morning, My name is Bruce, I'll be your service manager this morning.  What seems to be the problem?", he said, polishing his glasses on the tail of his lab coat.

 "She don't seem to be running right. Engine sputters once in a while; not much power.  'couple of weeks ago it acted like there wasn't enough air getting into the carburetor, the tire pressure went way up and, believe it or not, she gained about 500 pounds, or so it seemed by the way she struggled to get up the hills."

"Hmmm," said the service writer, "Old model, '34, maybe?"

"Yeah, but only about 80K miles.  Engine's been a little weak for a long time, but only got worse recently/"

"Probably overloaded; all that extra aftermarket stuff you've got on 'er."

"Pull over here on the scales; my assistant will take the tire pressure and get an oil sample.", and with that he unlimbered the stethoscope from around his neck and listened intently; front, back, high, low, accompanied by the occasional "Hmmmm".
 

"Well, can you fix it or  not?", he said, fidgeting in front of the service writer's podium.

"We'll have to run some more tests."

"Like what?"  came the agitated response, "Why don't you just open the hood and give it a look?"

"These models don't have a hood, 'sealed compartment, 'only way to work on the engine is to cut it open right down the center line of what should be a hood.  We have special tools and training; not everybody can do this.  That's why we have tests to determine just what's wrong in there, then maybe we can go in and fix it."

"So, what tests?"
 

"We'll start with an X-ray, then use an ultrasound machine, then if we need more information, we'll put her on these rollers and rev 'er up till she stutters, so we can tell just what is needed."

"Isn't that dangerous?'

"Well, yes, it could blow the engine, but we can restart it most of the time, and then we'll know exactly what's wrong."

"Don't want to risk that;  is there any other way?"

"Takes two days, 'costs more, but if you say so---."

A few days later:

"We have your tests results."

" and?"

"Some blockage is indicated in the fuel lines feeding the engine."

"So?"

"We need to run another test."

"Like what?"

"Its name is hard to spell, but we tap into the fuel line back here by the rear doors, and put a tube up into the engine. We can then put in small camera and see where the blockage(s) are."

"(s)?"

"There may be more than one, the line branches out to each of the cylinders; if it's not too bad, we may be able to fix it on the spot."

And still later:

"You have blockages."

"and did you fix 'em?"

"Not exactly."

"Why not?"

"Seems they are too many and too severe to fix through the tube, and not likely to solve the problem for very long."

"So what now?"

"We need to replace those lines that are blocked."

"You said it was sealed; you can't get in there."

"We have to cut it open."

"and?'

"We stop the engine, hook up the engine to this machine that does its work for a little while, then take out the blocked sections and replace them, hook the engine back up, start it up and close the compartment and you're good to go."

"You got the spare pieces of gas line."

"We just cut pieces from the lines down near the wheels and put them in the engine."

"'You done this before?"

"Lots of times; just bring 'er down here first thing in the morning and we'll get right on it."
The service writer turned, looked back, "I almost forgot", he said, "Don't add any gas or antifreeze after midnight."

 

TO BE CONTINUED   ---------------------