She punched him with her folded newspaper.
"I think it went under the drapes", she said, pointing to the closed curtains now covering the picture window..
What?, he replied, looking up from his copy of Churchill's history..
"The snake, a big one."
"What?,
"S-N-A-K-E, snake,"
"Really?"
"So?"
"So, get'im out."
It was not that unusual, given that the house sat in the middle of a grove of mature oaks, to have such an unwelcome guest.
"Right." I'll get one of my golf clubs."
"Not on my carpet, you won't."
"I'll get the CO2?"
"It's not on fire."
"Carbon dioxide, comes out very cold; it'll freeze 'im, and we can pick him up and just toss him out the front door."
"YOU can pick him up and toss him out."
He returned with the extinguisher.
"You lift up the curtain and I'll blast him."
"I will pull the curtain back with the cord from the far end, thank you very much."
"Have it your way."
She got a firm grip on the drape pull cord; he held the extinguisher at the ready.
"You ready?", he asked. "Real slow now."
The drapes separated in the center as she pulled gently on the cord. At about half open, there he was, all six inches of him, green in color and with the tiny markings of a garter snake, looking somewhat bewildered; a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's court.
He squeezed the handle and focused the stream on the snake; snake cocked his head and looked about in further bewilderment.
"Thought you said it would freeze him", she said, with a note of sarcasm.
He looked at the snake, then at the extinguisher. A film of white powder covered the target area and surrounding five feet of dark brown carpet and beige drapes.
"I never knew carbon dioxide was so powdery."
He looked at the extinguisher. "I got the wrong one; this is a dry powder."
"No kidding, Dick Tracy", she chided, "some fireman you are."
"I was an ambulance attendant", he protested as he returned with a five iron and smacked the snake unconscious, slipped; it under the limp body and carried him out the door, and returned.
Is he dead?" she asked.
"How should I know, I didn't check his pulse. He's in the flower bed."
"Wonderful! You can do the weeding in there from now on. I've had enough; I'm going to bed."
"But,---------". She interrupted. "YOU can clean up the living room!
Goodnight."
